She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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