I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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