When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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