Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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