i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
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He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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