On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
