i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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