i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
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i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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