I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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