do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
