im drinking this country out of the recession.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
