u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
