just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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