ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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