Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
