ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
