So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
