he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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