so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ttyl tear gas
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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