He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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