I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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