then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
