Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
