i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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