His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
