Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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