There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
