"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
