is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
