I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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