David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
