OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
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i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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