The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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