Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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