Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
