I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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