I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
vagina is talking i cant
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
