Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
