I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
