white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
