Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He felt like a one man threesome
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
