you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
