Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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