this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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