You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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