Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
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I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
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Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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