clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
