We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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