You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
