that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize