i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
